Well, the seminar on how to find a job is over, and I was able to go to lunch with some of the people I formely worked with. A lot of bitter people, but I'm right there with them. I'm torn between my personal feelings of being let go and the company's need to do what it feels is right. The company has given me a nice severance package and has hired these nice people to work with me to assist me in finding another job. I mean really, what more could you ask for from a company that is just doing what it feels is right. But I enjoyed my job so much, it's just sad to see it go.

I guess this is what it feels like to get a divorce ... you really hope the other person is doing what they feel is right, yet you're sad at losing them. Although I don't think the company has cried over it's loss. But I'm still having those thoughts that they might reconsider. But in my heart I know it's not likely. It's a hard spot to be put in. I don't like it, but I'm going to have to move on. It needs to be tactical from here ... I need to plan and execute some moves to make sure that I'm going to be alright.

The nice thing is that IT is a backend to almost every type of business. My skills are varied and I've performed a lot of different tasks over the past couple of years with the company. I need to use that as a strenght.

It's just going to be hard going in the next 90 days knowing it's all coming to an end. I feel a responsibility to the company to give them my best work for the next 90 days, as that is what they're paying me for. Yet, the underlying feelings of betrayal, on the company's part, leaves me lacking in enthusiasm. I'll probably be a bit depressed over the next couple of days, and my work will suffer for it. But hopefully with the outplacement service working with me, I'll gain a bit more confidance in my ability to find other employment. It's certainly nice to know they're here to help. They're part couselor, part attitude adjuster, and part coach.

Someday, in the near future, I'm sure I'll look back on this day and this text, and remember how awful it was ... but rejoice in how well I have it now because of this. The same has happened with the other "tradgidies" in my life, and I can't see where this will be any different. It's just hard going through the awful part.

Thanks for being part of my therapy and my journal.

Well, I'm at the outplacement agency today for the "help me find a job"(tm) workshop. And it's reminding me just how difficult it is going to be for me to find another job within my restrictions.

You see, I've given up driving because my eyesight isn't so good. I constantly bump into things just walking around the house. I'm afraid I'll seriously harm someone else or myself by risking driving. But the outplacement place is pretty far out of the city, and luckily I had a girlfriend who could take me this morning on her way to work. However, I got here for about 8:00 and the workshop session won't begin until 9:30 ... now you see why I'm blogging. I'm a bit bored. But alteast they have an internet connection.

I'll probably post something a little later about me starving for lunch ... stay tuned. What a sucky situation.

Well, we're talking again, and I had a delightful weekend with her.

On Friday, she came home and she was talking to me again. Something about her crazy sister. I knew that either something would come along that she just couldn't resist telling me, or that the issue would just be forgotten. We're both pretty stuborn, but I like to think that our love for each other is stronger than our stuborness.

On Friday night, my 17 year old neice came by with her boyfriend. They really like hanging out at my condo and being in the city. It turns out that her boyfriend thinks that we're a pretty cool couple to hang out with and that we're fun to be around. They've been coming down to use us for parking, and then travel downtown to the free concerts going on in/near Centennial Olympic park. Coca-Cola is putting on On The Bricks, and 99x is putting on Downtown Rocks ... all in all, free music is GREAT music ... but don't tell the RIAA. I ventured down to see They Might Be Giants, but I missed last weekend to go see Violent Femmes...

You can all just kiss off into the air,
behind my back I can see them stare.
They'll hurt me bad but I won't mind,
They'll hurt me bad they do it all the time.

Oh well. Would have been good. After the concert, my neice and her boyfriend came back and we went out to have desert at Cafe Intermezzo. I had the double espresso and my significant other loves the Turkish Coffee. It's one of our favorite places to go for coffee and desert.

All in all, a good day.

Saturday, we had a lot to do. She had a doctor's appointment in the morning, we went to have her car appraised for an accident she was in, we had another doctors appointment, and then we finally went to have dinner with her family. We had some Bison at Ted's Montana Grill. I must say, the bison was pretty darn good. Check out the web site for some bison meat information, pretty interesting stuff.

On Sunday, we went up to Helen, GA (not my photos, just thought they looked good. That's not me in the river.). Her sisters, nieces, and father went out riding, and afterwards we had lunch at a place I can't remember the name of. It was a good lunch overall.

After that we went around to some of the shops and just peeked at what they had. Neither of us are really that into shopping. After that, the whole family met up at a bar on the river and we had a few drinks. We were introduced to this poor guy named Bob or Bill or something. We'll stick with Bob for the story's sake. Bob was there having a few drinks while his Fiancee was off at a wedding. His Fiancee's family didn't care much for Bob, because as he put its, he likes to speak his mind. Well, Bob's Fiancee dropped him off at the bar and then proceeded to go to the wedding. Only thing was, she was supposed to have picked him up two hours ago. I must say that I'd be a bit unnerved by being left there at a bar without word of what was going on. Bob was in a fix ... not sure what happened to Bob, but he walked out of the bar. Good luck Bob. Good luck with the Fiancee too.

We parted ways with the family, and went off looking in the mountains for waterfalls. For some reason, I've been craving to go see the North Georgia Mountains and the water falls. I love moving water and the sounds that it makes. It just seems to energize me. It's also something that I just can't decide to go out and do, not driving and all, so I consider it a treat to go and see the waterfalls and hike in the woods. I think I like it most towards the fall with the trees changing color and the cool crisp air. For some reason, I've always liked the fall.

This weekend, we're planning on heading up to Timber Tops, to rent a cabin with my parents and spend the weekend in the woods. It's up in the Smokey Mountains near Gatlinburg and Pidgeon Forge. I can't wait to just get away and sit on the porch, or in the hot tub, and just relax.

That's about it for now. Take care all.

Well, she's not talking to me today. She's decided that it's best if she just doesn't talk.

I grilled out tonight, cooking up some turkey soaked in Terryaki sauce ... mmmm, good. A couple of months ago, we started trying to eat healthier. She wanted to eat more fish and really liked it grilled. And for some reason, I had a real urge to start grilling food. I don't know why, but it just seemed like a manly thing to do. Well, a friend of her's a work recommended that we check out The Big Green Egg.

The Big Green Egg is a ceramic grill that will also act as a smoker, and I must say it does an awesome job of cooking food. It uses charcoal, but it only takes about 10 mins to get up to cooking temperatures. And after that the food cooks really quick. It's an obcession. We wheel it out to the pool side, heat it up, cook, eat, and let it cool down. Everything I've cooked on there, even with my novice grilling ability, has turned out delicious. Luckily the headquarters store is here in Atlanta, and we got out of there with the grill and acessories for about $400. It's rather pricey, heavy, and small, but all around worth it. They come in four sizes, but given that we live in a small condo, we went with the small. But it's big enough for the two of us to eat off of. If you're in the market for a grill, and you can afford the investment, it's worth every penny. We're going away with my parents to Timber Tops next weekend, and we'll be loading up the Egg for a little Smokey Mountains grilling.

Other than the drama with the not speaking, there isn't really much going on here. I'm refinancing my condo while the rates are low, and it looks like I'll be knocking off $100/month of my bills.

That's about it for now ...